There is this ravaging beast that is inside me…. no, it’s not my alter ego, it’s my propensity towards the big binge. I find that the more healthy I eat, the more I try to justify this future horrible binge that looms in the back of my head.

It’s weird…it’s like I feel like I deserve this big binge because I feel deprived when trying to lose weight.

Everything I’ve been eating has been good for me. I am lactose intolerant, so the creamy cheesy stuff that used to tear up my stomach doesn’t bother me anymore…I just choose not to eat it.
The over-stuffed, full feeling that comes from bingeing only makes me feel bad. It sabotages my work that I’ve done since the beginning of the year, and it takes me further away from my goal.

I don’t have the self control now to be able to resist and be more free with some of my food choices. I know that with WW, I can seriously eat anything I want within my points, but I don’t want to eat a day’s points worth of pizza and then be hungry just a few hours later….(mind you, I;d be so miserable if I did) 🙂

I guess what I’m saying is I don’t have to be that person who looks at food like it owes me….You owe me for eating well. You owe me for sticking to it. My reward is not a piece of cake. My reward is good health and I choose it today.

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