I have this ongoing contest in my head about how many lbs I can lose before the next big event. People will certainly like me more if I’d lost weight since the last time I saw them right?

If I show up at a friend’s wedding 60 lbs lighter, I’d be able to enjoy myself and dance the night away, right?. I would not be so self conscious about what my head thinks people are saying about me.

If I wanted to take pictures at the family reunion, maybe I’d be more comfortable if I were on the other side of the pictures, smiling in front of the camera instead of hiding behind it.

Have you seen the woman who can enjoy herself with her loved ones no matter what her weight is? I sure would like to find her again. This woman in front of me hides in the shadows, having meaningful, yet inauthentic conversations with people as to not be in the spotlight. Where’s the woman who doesn’t care about what people think?

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