February 2009


When I started gaining weight, immediately when I sat down on a couch, I would get a throw pillow and drape it across my lap not for comfort’s sake, but to hide.

One day, a friend of my mother’s who was in her 70’s pulled me to the side and whispered in my ear….I see that you’re hiding. You don’t have to…you’re beautiful. She told me the story of how she began to hide when she was a teenager and began to have weight problems.

That simple gesture of popping a pillow in front of me will stop.

I am so trying to get control of my food portions. I even went out to buy those cute little portion controlled lunch containers. I am cool when it comes to lunch, but it’s dinner that gets me. Pasta is my weakness. I can eat so much of it and I feel sick to my stomach. As a matter of fact, I felt nauseous today at work, and felt like I was gonna toss my cookies even before I had the swirly spaghetti goodness…

I filled a plate with salad and ate that before I touched my pasta. I still ended up getting 2 bowls full, but I think that is so much better than before.

We are gonna limit ourselves to pasta once a month at home. It’s a binge trigger food for me.

I always do this to myself….I am at 5.9 lbs lost since Jan 19th and you’d think since I am trying to get to 13 lbs lost (-5%) I would continue on my trek until I got there right? Not so much….I end up slacking and being less rigid after the first few lbs. With so far to go, I can’t afford to stop now.

I am going out to dinner with the hubs for V-Day tonite and I am going to make wise choices and eat less than I normally do.

I am still in this game….still ready to lose weight. I just need a swift kick in the pants.

I am a gabber. When I see a new product or use something that works, I tell everyone. Even when I am trying to lose weight, I make a point to tell everyone about what I’m doing whether they need to lose weight or not. The danger in that for me, particularly when doing weight watchers is that people watch what I eat like a hawk. They have no idea that I’m using my activity points or that I am using my banked points for a meal. This gets on my nerves.

For this last attempt at health and fitness, I have only told my walking partner and my husband. I tried to run the steps with my boss, and she told everyone that we did it….now everyone is coming to me asking if I am trying to lose weight. Nosey roseys! lol

I am going to do it this time and shock the heck out of myself and everyone else 🙂